After our carb fest and the internet nightmares in the Abergavenny Arms last night we finally roll down the last few miles into Newhaven around 2030 and seek somewhere to stock up on supplies for tomorrow ….experience tells us that Sunday’s, rural France, and shopping are very unhappy bedfellows so we decide it’s wise to do this now.

By the time we arrive at the port its around 2115 and we promptly proceed to sit outside in the dark and cold freezing our swonicles off for what seems like FOREVER until eventually we are finally allowed to board.

I splashed out a whole extra fiver to get a four berth room “with window” (I know, jealous right) and if you have ever asked yourself the question “I wonder what a still slightly hungover middle aged man looks like after hardly any sleep and nearly 70 miles of cycling” well this is for you.

Roughly 3 minutes after this photo, or at least that’s certainly how it felt, there is a banging on the door and a loud tannoy announcement to tell us in an unhelpfully and frankly unwelcome jolly demeanour that it is 430am and we will be docking in 30 mins! To be clear, 2 nights in a row with not enough sleep does not make for a “happy Nicky”. So rather speedily and very grumpily we pack up and head down into the bowels of the ship to retrieve our bikes…

….it’s only about 20 miles later I realise that “speedy” and “grumpy” don’t mix and that I have left my much coveted (by Marc and Dan) pillow on the ferry (yes, yet another personal possession left behind.….I am slowly but surely spreading my worldly possessions all across Europe)….as if this challenge wasn’t hard enough “NO PILLOW!!!!!”

As we set off our through the countryside it’s safe to say that it is cold, it is dark, it is damp and that 5 o’clock on a Sunday morning is not the time to be doing anything let alone cycling to Paris. It’s not long then before we stop for first breakfast…

All these factors (dark, cold, damp and tired) combine to provide me with my first, and almost certainly not last, crisis of confidence. “This is a stupid challenge I can’t do this, I’m too tired, I’m too unfit, I’m too old and on top of it all I HAVE LOST MY PILLOW, I just want to go home, be with Jo and have a hot shower and sleep in a proper bed”. Cue the miraculous restorative power of sunshine, warmth, great friends and beans….

Shortly after we get the chance to play one of our favourite games when we are on one of out adventures. Basically when we see other cyclists ahead we slowly creep up behind them and then as we get close we really put the hammer down so it appears that you are going way faster than them as you fly past. This is of course ridiculously childish but it is immensely rewarding particularly if they aren’t carrying panniers (ie not doing it properly) and if you call out a nonchalant “bonjour” as you pass. Our first victims hove into view a little way down the road ….

Tired and hungry we roll into Gisors just after noon meaning which given it is a Sunday we know means that we only have 20 mins until any supermarket that actually bothered itself to open in the first place will close. There is a certain amount of tetchiness in our hunt for food as no one really knows where to go. My phone has no signal and I am going to say that Dan is not, for me at least, an obvious choice for his combined meeting a deadline and map reading skills. Fortunately Marc comes to the rescue and we rush into the Auchan in Gisors, to much tutting from the staff, just as they start to close the shutters. As we escape a French guy comes us to in the car park seemingly impressed with our shirts which make it clear we are going to Rome. Unfortunately he didn’t speak a word of English and of course collectively we have no French. Nonetheless we spend a good 5 to 10 minutes listening to him waxing lyrical about whatever it was he was waxing lyrical about accompanied by much nodding, stroking of chin and indignant exhalation (from him I mean…we were just staring blankly at him wondering when he was going to take a breath!). We cycle a couple more miles and then pull away from the main road and gorge on our purchases....no photo exists as it was really not a pretty sight.

The rest of the day is filled with sunshine, water towers, road side nappage and, I have to confess navigation issues….

To be honest I am still not really sure what went on with navigation but safe to say we had our fair share of impassible dirt tracks, non existent roads and dead ends today which all added up to a massive 112 miles and nearly nine hours of cycling….no one was happy least of all me!

We eventually roll into Camping Sandaya on the outskirts of Paris at just after 5pm and it is finally time for a shower, food and sleep (albeit WITHOUT A PILLOW!!!)

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