Last nights dinner in the Lydden Bell is surprisingly decent (not sure why I am surprised but anyway) with the only complaint being the fact it’s a 2 mile climb in the dark back to the campsite….not good!

My first nights sleep in the tent goes about as well as expected. I can’t in all good conscience tell you that it was absolutely hideous but it was most definitely “sub optimal”. The highlight was definitely my 3am visit to the loo where I found myself stumbling through the dark in the middle of cold, wet field and suddenly got a paralysing cramp in my right thigh. It’s doesnt quite put me on the floor but just when I think it has passed and I have finished whimpering out loud the same thing happens in my left thigh and that does…. After what seems like forever rolling around in the wet field I do eventually manage to hobble and groan like some weird shadowy being of the night all the way to the toilet block …..and back in case you are wondering.

We have an early ferry to catch and 7 miles  to cover so when the alarm goes at 515 we are up and out sharpish and on the road by 6.

The 7 mile pull into Dover is largely uneventful and mostly downhill and after a bit of queuing and a fair bit of queue jumping ( a perk of being on a bike) we board the ferry stow the bikes and head up on deck.

As soon as I have sent Marc off to the onboard crèche (please see picture) I set about procuring the finest cuisine DFDS have on offer….as you can tell this is pretty high quality stuff….it’s all in the presentation don’t you know.

Whilst eating we both notice a guy sitting on a table by himself …we notice him purely because his table has a much coveted power socket and so as soon as he leaves we pounce! Once we have settled in and plugged in we notice a pair of rayban sunglasses which he has clearly left behind…and there is no sign of him.

Later on a trip back from the loo (yes again!) I happen to spot him. Is now a good time to reveal my super power to the world I wonder ….yes folks ok, wonder no more it is I, Super Recogniser Man!! So I retrieve his glasses and hand them back to him. He is of course delighted although I don’t actually think he had noticed they were missing yet. Sam (for we now know that is his name) is clearly so happy about being reunited with his glasses that about 10 minutes later he comes over, waves a web page on his phone at us and says “is this your just giving page…I would like to donate £10 to say thank you” ….and so he does! Thank you Sam you sir are a star. It’s also worth noting that I knew the shirts would pay for themselves!

A short while later we dock in Calais and begin the trudge downstairs to retrieve our bikes and disembark. We start to follow all the other traffic out of the port but as we do a very jolly Frenchman in his high vis vest and port authority van calls out “zees way eez no good for you monsieur, you follow me”. So we do, only briefly worrying that perhaps we are being trafficked.  Luckily (for all parties)In reality he helps us out enormously and takes us around the long vehicle queues and we are set free and on our way.

For the most part the route starts very straightforward and quick. We know we need to make good time if we are to get to Tournai at a half reasonable hour.

Regrettably though the Garmin soon starts it usual trick of taking us down unpaved roads, muddy tracks and basically everywhere a bike just shouldn’t go. We also come across “route barres” where even TMAAT fear to tread. We spend a good couple of hours back tracking and wasting time we know we don’t really have today given our highly ambitious plan to get to to our end destination. Eventually we trash the route guidance and instead plot a town to town course which is heading broadly south east. We can’t though ignore the fact that at 1600 we estimate we still have around 45 miles to go ….gulp!

By the way, in case you ever wondered , here too is the answer to that age old question, exactly how many French people does it take to put up an umbrella

At this point in the day, bar a banana and some energy snacks neither of us have eaten since DFDS breakfast (which was of questionable nutritional value) and so we are pretty much hanging! We are also running low on water (did I mention how hot it is today?) and as we know in France very little is open. The ever resourceful Marc, spotting a tabac with its lights on, pushes on the seemingly closed door and discovers it really is open! Water topped up and two full fat cokes (I am so ashamed) and we are off. After what feels like an absolute eternity we drag ourselves into the outskirts of Lille and stock up at one of the very few open supermarkets on a Sunday. It’s is definitely going to be a pasta on the camping stove kind of night tonight.

The last 20k (and let me tell you it did not budge from 20k for what felt like hours) is a total destroyer….honestly I don’t think either of us have ever been so tired. It is 2030 when we finally flollop into our campsite! Stats for the day - 12 hours of travelling (and that’s discounting the ferry and the time difference!) 8 1/2 hours of pedalling, 2100 feet of climbing and 104 miles covered……104 people!!!!!!

If this isn’t moving you to donate I don’t know what will!